Running in the back of the pack is a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.

There's a theory that a woman reaches sexual peak in her mid-thirties. She becomes comfortable with her body and may have found a partner to share her life experiences. In contrast, a man's sexual peak is a vague memory by the time he reaches his mid-thirties, having begun its downward spiral sometime between his eighth warm beer and a Saturday night drive-in study session on the mechanical perplexities or a brassiere latch.

As men mature, we learn to appreciate the finer pleasures of life. A good wine, a walk through the park on a crisp morning, holding our partner's hand on the sofa, and crushing the ego of a brash twenty-year old with a sustained two-mile push at the end of a 10K race.

Let me explain: The Kid was dressed in a Mt. SAC Relays t-shirt and skin tight Nike warm-ups. He never considered the old guy in thread-bare, baggy sweat pants and torn sweatshirt as a threat. Just a half-hour earlier, the Kid leapt out of bed, grabbed a pop-tart and jumped in his lightning blue Toyota pickup. With his hand, he swept the seat clean of last night's In-and-Out french fries, swigged the last vestiges of a 64 oz. Big Gulp and inserted a cassette in the tape deck. Cranking the volume to a 7.0 Richter level, he prayed to God (it was Sunday after all) that his perennially empty gas tank would carry him another eight miles to the state beach, site of this morning's race.

At 5:30 am, an obscenely annoying alarm clock woke the balding, middle aged father of three children. His pallet of shorts, shirt, socks, sweats and running shoes were laid on the floor so there would be no wasted motion as he suited for the morning's battle. His pre-race meal of cheerios, banana, bagel, tea and ice water had to be ingested at least two hours prior to race time so he meticulously prepared, remembering past follies of racing on an empty stomach. After a trip the bathroom (ie. library) he made a mental review of his pre-race checklist. Carefully closing the front door so as not to wake his family, he started the car and remained calm with a full gas tank and satisfied but nervous stomach. He used the drive to the race as a chance for quiet meditation.

At 7:30 am, the Kid screeched his truck to a halt in the red zone next to the race day traffic barricades. Pulling on his neon green racing flats and sprinting to the race entry table, the Kid shoveled over several crumpled dollars, collected his race number and size medium t-shirt. Spying the long queue at the port-a-potties, he dashed beind the oleander bushes for relief. As he elbowed his way to the front of the starting crowd, the Kid paid no heed to the steely-eyed baby boomer under a tattered Detroit Tigers baseball cap.

Bang! The Kid skyrocketed from the line, his internal accelerator pressed to the floorboard. Miles one and two passed in a blur. His lungs, pure and pink bellows, operated at full efficiency. His legs were bones, muscle and skin - not an ounce of fat. All systems were super-charged and revved to the maximum.

The near-sighted mortgage holder of a rapidly devaluing home cautiously started his watch at the sound of the pistol. Mile one was clocked and mentally logged. Five seconds too fast. Damn. Back off a little. Mile two clocked just as he planned. A wry smile crossed his unshaven face as he watched the neon green shoes flashing far ahead of his present race position.

The Kid gave little thought to his stomach pangs and leg cramps, after all he was fast approaching his favorite portion of the course. The turnaround afforded the Kid a dual opportunity to gauge lesser mortals and parade his wares. So, he rounded the orange construction cone widely for a broad view of the field. The Kid gave even less thought to the runner with mud-caked, careworn shoes approaching the turnaround cone.

The bagel and banana fueled middle-aged beauracrat required only three efficient steps to navigate the cone. A glance at his watch revealed a better-than-expected 5K split. He performed a businesslike systems check: arms relaxed, breathing steady, stride efficient, mental state ---> positive